As part of Senior Spirit's Lifestyle series on Solo Aging, we're taking a look at women aging solo, together.
The “Golden Girls lifestyle” is officially trending: more older women are sharing a home, on purpose. In 2018, Harvard’s Joint Center for Housing Studies called it “a small but growing trend.” Since then, the rising cost of housing has encouraged more older women to move in together. You know it’s a trend when it earns its own word: boommates, roommates of the baby boomer generation.
“Home sharing is a way for older adults to maintain their independence” and age in place, Jenn Jones, vice president of financial security and livable communities at AARP, told the Washington Post. Especially for older women, who reach retirement with fewer financial resources, on average, than men, sharing a home can be a smart or even necessary choice.
It’s also about companionship. Aware of the mental and physical health risks of social isolation, many boomers aren’t interested in living alone as they age. “Being single, I knew I had to set myself up with more built-in support, like couples do,” said Sue Ronnenkamp, who found her housemate via an online search in Denver. They eat meals together a few times a week, and Ronnenkamp shares her housemate’s family holidays like Thanksgiving. As two solo agers, the women find that by living together, they’re able to provide each other with the emotional and financial support that would be missing if they lived alone.
Ronnenkamp and her boommate rent an apartment together. In other cases, homeowners decide that they’d like a housemate. Some people simply want help paying the mortgage, and others are also interested in sharing life with the right person or people. There are risks inherent in inviting a roommate to live with you in the home you own, and it’s wise to do a background check on prospective renters. By connecting with a home share service online, homeowners and renters benefit from a centralized vetting process, and these services strive to match housemates who will be a good fit for each other.
According to home share sites, most of the older people looking to be matched up as housemates are women. About 22% of men over 65 live alone, while a full third (33%) of women do. This may be because women in the U.S. live an average of six years longer than men; plus, the divorce rate among people over 65 tripled between 1990 and 2021. More women may be willing to try cohabitation since, as compared to men, women have more cultural touchstones–The Golden Girls and Gracie and Frankie being the most-often mentioned–to show that living with friends in later life isn’t a defeat. In fact, it can be fun.
Looking for a Boommate?
A number of online platforms strive to link you up with a compatible person who’s looking for the same kind of home life.
- HomeShare Online, formerly Silvernest, links homeowners with renters of all ages. According to their website, homeowners earn an average of $850/month, and renters save an average of $750/month as compared to a one-bedroom apartment.
- Home Match, from the nonprofit Front Porch, links older homeowners with people of any age seeking affordable housing and a flexible living arrangement. They say: “Home Match benefits everyone. It decreases isolation, provides housing security, and above all, builds community.”
- The National Shared Housing Resource Center is a network of home sharing organizations. They can connect you to local nonprofits that fill a niche in communities across the country. HomeShare Vermont, for example, has 40 years of experience linking up homeowners with potential renters, the Shared Housing Center has been serving Dallas since 1984.
- Also consider reaching out to your local Area Agency on Aging and/or local government. Some municipalities have ways to match people looking for housing with those offering it.
A word of caution: open forums like Next Door and Craigslist are popular ways for people of all ages to find local housing and housemates. A major benefit of a service like Homeshare Online is that your information stays private and the people you’re being matched with have been vetted, at least somewhat. When posting in open forums, be sure not to disclose personal information like your address, phone number, or the fact that you live alone.
Also consider asking for housemate recommendations from friends who know your personality and quirks. Plenty of older folks balk at the idea of sharing their home with another person–the image of a sink full of dirty dishes may spring to mind. But for solo agers who find the right fit in each other, the benefits of having a boommate can far outweigh any inconveniences.
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