Feeling bereft of holiday spirit? That's perfectly normal. Here are some ways to light up this darkest month of the year.
The holiday blues: for many people, they’re a familiar part of the year’s end. Financial stress, grief, and a lack of sunlight can all be factors that influence our holiday moods–especially when the cultural narrative informs us that we should all be feeling like magical elves during this “most wonderful time of the year.”
For older people in particular, the holidays mean looking back on past seasons with loved ones who are longer present. Social isolation and financial stress, which disproportionately affect older adults year-round, can feel even more acute during the holidays. And among people, including seniors, with a diagnosed mental health issue like anxiety or depression, 40% report that the holidays make their condition somewhat worse.
“Dying isn’t really the focus of hospice care,” Angela Novas, chief medical officer for the Hospice Foundation of America, told AARP. “The focus of hospice is to live well for the remainder of your time, however long that is.” To support people in maintaining that focus, hospice care is palliative care that emphasizes pain and symptom management.
First of all, it can help to remember that many, many people don’t find this to be the most wonderful month. And if you’re missing loved ones this holiday, please acknowledge the feelings as normal and healthy–not an indication that you’re a grinch.
Mental Health Resources for the Holiday Blues and BeyondThese online resources can help inspire you or a loved one to new forms of self-care or professional support this winter.
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But we’re not fated to feel down during December. Taking time for true self-care, reaching out for support, and leaning into gratitude are all ways to lighten the darkness so many people feel during the holidays.
Keep up healthy habits. Don’t jettison your exercise, diet, and sleep schedules during the busy holiday season. All the healthy habits you cultivate during the rest of the year will support your mood through holiday stress. Indulge in the treats that you really enjoy while keeping the big picture in mind. This can look like eating a healthy snack before going to a holiday party or leaving an event when you feel tired.
Schedule time for yourself, and use it for reflection and creativity. Downtime can be scarce during the holidays, and solitude helps recharge social batteries. Not all alone time is created equal, though. During a time of year when emotions surface along with memories of Christmases and Hanukkahs and Kwanzaas past, it may not be enough to decompress by scrolling or watching T.V. To process these emotions and give them an outlet, try doing something creative. The National Council on Aging suggests building creativity and journaling into your holiday season. Write down a few sentences about your day and see where it takes you. Try a new recipe or coloring book, or take time for your favorite craft. By doing something creative, we interrupt negative thought patterns and redirect our minds to the present moment—a recipe for improved mood.
Make new traditions with loved ones. Alone time is essential during the holidays, and so is meaningful time with family and friends. Grief for missing loved ones is part of the holiday season, always, but especially after a recent loss. During this time, remember that it’s okay not to carry on with holiday business as usual. Talk with loved ones about what you need from them, whether it’s conversation, space, or material support. And it’s important to feel free to make new traditions that both remember those we’ve lost and celebrate the life that’s still to live.
Bahby Banks of North Carolina told NPR that, before she died the day after Christmas in 2007, her mother’s house had started to look like Santa’s workshop. Creating new traditions around a holiday her mom had loved so much was difficult at first. "It's taken quite some time, but I decided the best tradition to honor my mother is to celebrate life and do what brings me peace,” she says. “This may vary from year to year and that's okay! I may spend a holiday by myself, or join a friend's family, or spend time with my mother's family."
Give yourself permission to decenter gift giving. The amount of money you spend on gifts this holiday season says nothing about how much you love and care about your family. Many people are experiencing financial stress this year. It’s okay not to give gifts, period. And it’s okay to give a poem or an act of service like making a meal.
Remember that the holiday blues are temporary. Melancholy around the holidays is just as temporary as it is normal. Looking ahead to what you’re excited about in the new year may help alleviate the feelings of sadness in the moment. In the same vein, consider if what you’re experiencing could be treatable as symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a condition triggered by the shortening days and a lack of sunlight. Medical help is available for SAD, including medication and therapy.
From all of us at Senior Spirit, please accept our best wishes for a warm and meaningful holiday season this year.
Sources:
https://whatsyourgrief.com/creating-new-tradition-after-a-death/
https://www.npr.org/2018/12/23/679334018/after-the-loss-of-a-loved-one-your-holiday-traditions-change-but-hope-endures
https://deconstructingstigma.org/guides/holidays
https://www.samhsa.gov/blog/supporting-your-mental-health-during-holiday-season
https://www.sdcoe.net/about-sdcoe/news/post/~board/news/post/mental-and-physical-wellness-over-the-holidays
https://truecare.org/blog/holiday-blues-managing-your-mental-health-during-the-holidays/
https://mcpress.mayoclinic.org/mental-health/tips-for-taking-control-of-the-holidays-so-they-dont-take-control-of-you/
Blog posting provided by Society of Certified Senior Advisors
